Is the Local Area Network in Australia, the LAN down under?

Is every calendar's days numbered?

Is a lot of money tainted? It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Is Dijon vu the same mustard as before?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

Is a bicycle unable to stand alone because it is two-tired?

Why is it best to eat a lot of natural foods when most people die of natural causes?

Is the easiest way to find something that you've lost, to buy another?

Is health merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die?

When two egotists meet, is it an I for an I?

Is it true that no matter how bad prose is, it might be verse?

Do boxer shorts box?

Do bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis?

Is acupuncture a jab well done?

Is an egg boiled for 10 minutes hard to beat?

Is grass really greener on the other side?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Is the ‘upper crust' a number of people stuck together by their dough?

What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?

If protons have mass does that mean they are Catholic?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

How much faith does it take to be an atheist?

If a tin whistle is made out of tin, then what exactly is a fog horn made out of?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why is an orange an orange and an apple not a red?

Why is a pear called a pear when there is only one?

What do they pack styrofoam in?

If buttered toast always lands butter-side down, and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast on the back of a cat?

If light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear fairly bright until you hear them speak?

Does he who laughs last, think slowest?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Is a lame duck a politician whose goose has been cooked?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do the Alphabet song and ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' have the same tune?. . . . and why are you singing it to yourself? You didn't believe me ? . . . . .

Are people who read the Bible more as they get older cramming for their final exam?

Why is there a light in the fridge, but not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is it that as soon as your hands become dirty, your nose begins to itch?

If a pig loses its voice, does it become disgruntled?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

What did cured ham actually have?

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why is it called ‘rush hour' when all the traffic stands still?

Once you're in heaven, are you stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

Can you cry under water?

If a 999 operator has a heart attack, whom do they call?

Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two pennyworth in"
. . . but it's only a "penny" for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Do people who spend £1.00 or more on those little bottles of Evian water realise that spelt backwards it's Naive?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, do they become dis-oriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

If marriages were outlawed, would only outlaws have in-laws?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Does a backward poet write inverse?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp that no-one would eat?

What do people in China call their 'good' plates?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why don't they make the whole plane out of the same stuff that the indestructible black box is made of ?

Why do we say that an alarm goes off by going on?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Don't they all stop eventually?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else?"

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do we ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Why do we have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wiseguy are opposites?

Why do we fill in a form by filling it out?

If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar, do you believe him?

If nothing ever sticks to 'Teflon', how do they make 'Teflon' stick to the pan?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with 'Quit while you're still ahead'?

If the 'Energizer Bunny' attacks someone, is it charged with battery?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

When dog food has a 'new and improved taste', who tests it?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

If your supermarket is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is it that when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out of the window?

Why is it that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?

What do you call a male ladybird?

Why is ‘abbreviated' such a long word?

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is there an expiry date on sour cream?

Why are buildings called buildings when they are finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

How can you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Could someone ever get addicted to counselling? If so, how could you treat them?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Did Adam and Eve have navels?

Does anyone ever vanish with a trace?

How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?

If Fed Ex and UPS merged, would they call it Fed UP?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

If a word is mis-spelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

Why is it called 'after dark' when it's really 'after light'?

Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected' make the unexpected expected?

Why are a wise man' and a 'wise guy' opposites?

Why do 'overlook' and 'oversee' mean opposite things?

Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds?

Is atheism a non-prophet organisation?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do scientists call it 'research' when looking for something new?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

Why are there five syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?

Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?

Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes
- wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Is it because light travels faster than sound that people can look bright until they start to speak?

Why is it that my wife claims that she didn't see the garage doors when she was putting the car away, but has no trouble spotting a blonde hair on my jacket at 25 yards?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

If the police arrest a mime artist, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do they get the deer to cross at the yellow road signs?

How can a civil war be civil?

If all the world's a stage - where does the audience sit?

Is middle age when your broad mind & narrow waist begin to change places?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit un-nerving that doctors call what they do a 'practice'?

When sign-makers go on strike, is anything written on their placards?

Why do they lock garage toilets?
- Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a stealth bomber crash landed in a forest, would it make a sound?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it homeless or naked?